HE>i

I have always known some of my struggle is a pride issue. There was a point when I realized I was either obsessing about how I was going to try to lose weight, or obsessing over my calories and exercise. I thought about these things constantly. All of my worth and self-confidence was wrapped up in my weight. So even when I was feeling bad about myself it was pride. I was so focused on me and what people would think of me when my focus should be on God.

One day while running, I had a realization. I was thinking about calories and food and if I did such and such I might have 5 pounds off by next whenever. Suddenly I had the thought, I could be covered in scars or burns or be crippled, and there would be nothing I could do about it. I would just have to accept who I was. I could have a bad injury and not be able to run, or exercise. Why was I obsessing about something that shouldn't be that big of a deal. It is fixable.

I overcame a lot just with that realization which was over a year ago. And now, well recently I went to a wedding feeling like I looked pretty dang good. I bought a new dress which was the smallest size I have bought in about six years, and then someone asked me if I was pregnant. I was crushed. I could not get over it. For days. But it helped me to realize that the way I look is still too important to me. Being hurt by that comment is one thing. Allowing it to ruin my night and the next few days is another.

So needless to say, I have come to the point of really praying for humility. And I found that humility is also connected with food in God's word.

Yesterday I quoted Jesus from Matthew 4 as he used God's word against Satan when Satan tempted him to turn rocks into bread after fasting for 40 days. Jesus said, "It is written, 'man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.'"

The first scripture I want to share is the one Jesus was quoting.

Deuteronomy 8:2-3 Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that people do not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.

Being humble means we know His place verses our place. He is God the sustainer and provider, we do not get credit for things we do because everything we have is from Him. He causes us to hunger it says, and this is one of the ways he reminds us that we need Him.

He is also testing us to see what is in our heart. Mine is full of pride. I can see that clearly and it is ugly. I know the only cure is the work He is doing in me as I continue to seek Him. He has done so much in me already, I am so thankfully He is not done!