More Than A Diet: I Won't Go Back

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

I Won't Go Back

I remember when I first moved here to Kingsburg. It is so hot here (pretty much over 100 degrees all summer) and I was quietly refusing to wear shorts and there is no way you would catch me in a tank top. I was miserable. MISERABLE!

I was overweight and bordering on obese. There is a funny thing about being overweight, some people need to lose 100 pounds or more and some need to lose 40, but the mental aspect of being fat is the same. You are self- conscious yet you have done it to yourself and you continue it. I had a million plans and a million diets that I continually failed. Instead of losing weight I would gain it.

I so remember going out to the river trying to cover up my rolls and flabs and just wishing I didn't have to go. I felt disgusting. When you are overweight you are so self conscious but the only person who is really noticing it is you. Look around, there are fat people everywhere. Is there anyone pointing at them saying, "Disgusting?" No.

Your friends know you and love you no matter what you look like. They may wish you'd lose weight because then you'd stop complaining so much but they don't think about it when they look at you. Do you think about it when you look at an overweight friend?

So it is summer now and I have been wearing my shorts and my tank top. I have even worn a bathing suit in public multiple times. I still have weight to lose but I am now comfortable. That is such a perfect word, "comfortable." I was so uncomfortable before. I will not ever go back to where I was. There are a million reasons but the best is that I have come to where I am now by changing my lifestyle. I like my new lifestyle. I like the food I eat and the amount of it I eat. I am satisfied and I even enjoy food for because I don't feel guilty. I still eat ice cream and cookies but I do it in moderation. I exercise. A LOT. But I love it and I will not give it up.

If you are uncomfortable in your own skin, start making a change. Whatever you are doing that is maintaining being overweight is not worth it. Who cares if it takes two years to get to your goal weight. Will you be more comfortable once you make some healthy changes and lose 5, 10, 30 pounds... YES!

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My Food and Weight Issues Background

I am writing this blog because there was a time in my life when I was completely out of control with food and I was very deeply in shame because of it. I didn't feel there was a lot of information out there that I could relate with or that could help me. Since then I have done a lot of healing and have come a very long way. I still struggle but it is not the same way that I used to. Through out my blog I will be speaking from personal experience about my battle with weight and with food issues like binge or compulsive eating. I am not a nutritionist, a psychologist nor am I a physical trainer. Everything I speak about is from my own personal experience. I do believe it could help someone and that is why I write it. But please, if you plan to lose weight or start exercising - see a doctor and then come join me on this journey!

40 days More than a Diet Challenge

Are you ready for a challenge? Saying you are going to eat certain foods or abstain from others is one thing - but how about getting to the root of your food issues that have caused weight gain? Would you like to stop obsessing about your weight and actually do something about it? What if you could actually eat normal - eat in moderation and enjoy food.

The focus of my blog will be learning together to not allow food to have control over you. I hope you will come along with me on this journey. We will focus on our big and small victories and successes and we will learn from our mistakes. Don't expect to be perfect, but don't give up when you mess up. You can do this - you are worth it!