Monday, May 21, 2012

Day 9 What Freedom under Control Feels Like

Sunday we had a church picnic. It was typical church pot luck style. Awesome. Every type of food and every type of dessert you could think of. I went down the line of casseroles, pasta dishes, jello salads, enchiladas, lasagna, fried chicken and pulled pork. I took a little of 5-6 dishes. I did not choose by what seemed low in calories. I didn't even choose any salads. (It was hot and at this point they were soggy and didn't look appetizing.) Then I went back for dessert. You are probably thinking I totally screwed up. I don't think so. I felt free in what I ate. I enjoyed the food. I did not over eat. I was satisfied. There was no guilt even though I am sure I went over my calories.

There will always be events that are centered around food. There have been times I have gone to these afraid of the food. Afraid of myself and what I would do. Or I have been in my "calorie nazi" mode where I don't enjoy a bite and maybe even leave hungry. Neither of these are healthy. It's just food. And it's there to enjoy. I don't eat this kind of food every day but I am free to enjoy it in moderation once or twice a week. So yes, the goal is to get to my goal weight, but doing it this way is an even bigger part of the goal because I know if this is the way I can do it, I will keep it off!

I am happy and proud of the way I have treated food and thought about it lately. But I can't get too confident. I have been here before and I don't know what changed that sent me back out of control. For now, I am happy where I am and I am going to work hard to keep my mind in the right place.

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