Today proves a theory I have had in my head for a while. You can feel like crap because you are eating out of control for any period of time and within 24-48 hours of eating under control, feel fantastic again. Some people may have experienced this when they start a diet. By the second or third day they feel somewhat skinny and confident when nothing has really changed except their mind-set. I have experienced this over and over in my yo-yo dieting life. I know I have found the key to it all which is eating normal food in moderation. The problem is the rebellious streak that tells me I need, want or have to have more. It seems ridiculous right now that I would let myself go back to that place. From where I am now, I am happy. I like having control over food and truly enjoying what I eat as I do so in satisfying moderation. But there is a little gremlin deep within me that starts to whisper "you won't really enjoy it unless you have two." And then two becomes three. Or, "you don't feel very good right now, chocolate will make everything feel better."
For me I have found that counting calories gives me freedom to eat the food I enjoy under control. Part of my problem can be when I go over the calories a little bit. This should be okay, I should have the freedom to do that occasionally. But something in my mind says, you've blown it going over by 13 calories, you might as well go buy a pint of Ben and Jerry's. Obviously this is not logical. I want to work on allowing myself the freedom to see my calories a guideline not a tightrope. I don't want this to be and on/off diet. I want to eat normal and under control as a lifestyle, and to do so I know I have to count my calories.
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